Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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