Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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