other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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