"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
