I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
