Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
