We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He kissed a someone with a penis
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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