just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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