On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
