No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The uberlube is also flammable
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
