oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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