Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
