Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
