weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
