do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
