Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
