There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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