Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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