Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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