AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I need a burrito and a hug.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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