is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
