Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
