Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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