So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
