She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
What did we do last night that was yellow?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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