i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
