i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
50% drunk capacity currently
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
