Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I got inside last night via doggy door
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
