so let's talk penis.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
