I'm going to jail i love you
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
