But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
