He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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