I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
