That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
