Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
