you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
