it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
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