im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Did I show you my penis last night?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
