He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
