Yo dont text me then not text me
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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