I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
