Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I need a burrito and a hug.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
