im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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