He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
