How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
