Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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