dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
