remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
