Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
