my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
